Snipes Squad
by Saber Knight
Summary: Moments with the misfit squad that is under the command of Clone Lieutenant Snipes.
1. Breakfast in the Mess Hall

Clone Lieutenant Snipes walked to the mess hall to get some grub. They were having one of his favorites: Bacon, biscuits, and scrambled eggs. _"These cooks make the best breakfasts." _Snipes thought to himself. He entered the mess hall and headed straight to the serving counter. Got his food and went over to his squads table. He always wished he had his own table every morning when he ate breakfast with his squad and this is why...

Fives and Waker were playing Pazaak and betting their meal away. Kex was trying to sell a Manual about Battle droids to Echo for 4 bacons, Echo just ignored him and ate and read a Manual about destroyer droids. Zapper and Killzone were agruing about close range weapons and far range weapons. Bryan was eating silently with his girlfriend Silvara. Hunter and Shooter were bothering Roger about being named after a battle droids main sentence "Roger Roger". And Hotshot and Gunner were building some sort of... 'something' with their food...

"Come on a 2... a 2... need a 2..." Waker was muttering while drawing a card. "Ha! you drew a 3! your food is mine!" Fives said reaching for Waker's biscuit, but Waker slapped his hand away and said. "Not so fast." He then pulled out a -1 card and brought his total to 20 when Fives total was 19. He got His biscuit and took a bite into it. "Good food." Fives just grumbled unintelligently and gathered up his Pazaak deck.

"Come on Echo, i've got a nice good new battle droid manual. You could learn more about those clankers for just 4 bacons, so what do you say pal?" Kex said to Echo who in return started eating his bacon after finishing off his eggs and two bites outta his biscuit. "3 bacons?" "2?" "half biscuit?" Kex was almost begging but didn't give up...

"I'm telling you close range weapons will beat your far range anytime!" Zapper was telling Killzone, who in return said. "Oh really? What if you were on the ground and had your... zap gun and i was on a ridge and had my sniper?" Killzone told Zapper not letting any emotion in his voice. "I would just... uh... just..." Zapper was trying to find a way to get out of that and Kilzone got a smirk on his face. "Tell me when you find out." He said going back to his food.

"..." Bryan sat there eating looking up accasionly to see Silvara's beautiful face, but not saying anything. "..." Silvara sat there eating very ladylike and not paying attention to Bryan but usually lifted her eyes from her plate to look at him then quickly go back to eating.

"Roger Roger. lookie here i'm a droid. Roger Roger." Shooter was saying to Roger. "Roger that, by the way have you seen Roger?" Hunter said to Shooter. "Roger Roger." "Roger?" "Roger." "Roger Roger." "Roger..." "Roger?" "Roger!" Shooter and Hunter said. "Seriously, don't ya'll have something better to do? Why don't ya'll do something useful for once?" Roger said to his, unfortanitly, squad mates. Hunter and Shooter just laughed and continued their conversation.

"Ok, lets put the eggs on bottom, the biscuits on top of the eggs, and the bacon on the biscuits." Gunner was telling Hotshot who was shaking his head. "No, no, no. bacon on bottom, biscuits on top of the bacon, and the eggs on all of it." Hotshot said. "That doesn't make since. how 'bout we put the biscuits on bottom, the eggs around the biscuits, and the bacon on the egs and biscuit?" "No, no, no. thats not right. lets just eat our food now?" "Ok, but which food is mine?" "Just divide it in half..."

Snipes sighed and continued eating...


	2. Pancake crazy marines

BOOM! An explosion sounded near me and i looked over to see our last AT-TE hit the ground, now we were left down with only 5 squads including mine and we were facng about 200 something droids and we didn't even have 50 troopers. It was a night mare out here. I shot off another round and felled a SBD then took cover back with my squad. "Outnumbered, outfirepowered, out of EVERYTHING!" Zapper yelled craddling his Zap Gun in his arms and rocking back and forth. "We're gonna die!" He yelled again.

That might just happen, we were losing troops fast. Our mission was to destroy a droid factory but there just happened to be a few hundred droids in our way. Our heavy artilary was destroyed, our light artilary was destroyd, everything was destroyed! We can't last much longer out here. It'd take a miracle to save us... or... a plan. I got it! The perfect plan! I hope i get a medal for this... The guy who saved us from utter destruction medal for me, Clone Lieutenant Snipes. Now to put this plan in action...

"Hey men! You know whats on the other side of those bloody clankers!" I yelled out at my 12 men squad, not including me or the jedi commander we had. "What would that be, sir?" Hunter asked me while taking out another 3 BDs with 1 well-placed sniper round. "Pancakes!" All of my men, and the female jedi padawan Silvara, looked at me. "If we want them, we have to destroy ALL tthose droids, you hear?" Without warning they jumped over our barricade and ran and shot like they've never before, it was a oil-bath. Bryan and his girlfriend stayed with me.(I wasn't that **_crazy _**about pancakes, but they were very, very, very, very yummy)

"Die you PANCAKE harboring clankers!" Zapper shouted while taking out 5 droids with his zap gun. It seemed like all my men already had more then 20 kills each in about 3 minutes leaving only a few droids left. I shot some droids over there, over here, then back over there. Silvara used her force powers to destroy the ones in our path and used her silver lightsaber to deflect the blasts. "WE WANT OUR PANCAKES." yelled Hotshot while tackling a SBD and punching him to oblivian. It didn't takes us but 7 minutes to destroy all those droids.

We gathered around a smoking destroyer while the other 4 squads ran up to get to us. "Wheres the pancakes?" Zapper asked, looking around them. "I think the droids ate them." I told Zapper. "WHY THOSE BLOODY CLANKERS, THEY WILL KNOW BETTER TO EAT OUR PANCAKES! HOTSHOT, PRESS THE BIG RED BUTTON!" Zapper yelled. Hotshot got out a little black box that looked like it would contain a wedding ring, and opened it. Instead of a ring it showed THE Big Red Button, and a notice on the inside of the lid saying: Only use if clankers start eating pancakes.

"Whats tha-" I started to ask, but Hotshot already pressed it and a big boom sounded from the direction of the droid factory. "Clankers will know better next time." Zapper and Hotshot said. Then what would you know, a pancake on a silver plater landing in the middle of the two troopers. They lunged at it but ended up fighting eachother over the pancake. Finally Anakins squad arrived. "Whats going on here?" He asked us, looking at the two clones then at the pancake. "A... pancake?" He came over and started to reach for it when suddenly the two clones stopped their fight and...

lunged at Anakin shouting. "It's mine!"

the rest of it will not be told... as it can be quite embarrsing for the squad leader... when a big fight over a pancake appears after a great victory over the seps.

I sighed and watched the fight going on between... well... alot of people and not just clones...

I swear, this, my, squad is the craziest with the exception of Bryan, me, echo, fives (possibliy), and waker (more possibly)... and Silvara if you want to count the commander.


	3. One pancake

Hello...? Ok... don't know if anybodys gonna read this but... I'm writing it down since Snipes didn't, oh yeah. Zapper here, i writing down what happened when my squad and Anakins got into a fight. Whatever you do, do not tell Snipes... I repeat, DO NOT TELL SNIPES...

Me and Hotshot pounced on Anakin and were scrambling all over the place until finally he used the force to throw us off of him, cheater. But it so happens that he landed near the pancake that Kex was trying to get to. So Kex helped Anakin up then jabbed him in the cheek with his fist and sent him toppling over, and tripping over Captain Rex who was trying to take control of the position. Kex got the plate with the pancake on it, only to be charged at by three of Anakins pancake crazy troopers. Silvara jumped in front of him and used the force to send them falling back into Rex, Anakin, and Killzone.

Killzone kicked one off of him and got another in the face before he finally got on his feet again and came face to face with a very angry Captain Rex, who took a swing at him but Silvara stood in front of Killzone and grabbed the fist and pushed Rex away into Anakin who just got up after scrambling out from an unconsious clone. Killzone took a few steps back and was right next to Kex and again some clones charged him, now Anakins whole squad and Snipes whole squad, except Snipes himself, Bryan, and Echo were in the fight.

I guess Silvara felt some clone volenteery grope her lower back, since Bryan tackled a clone and hit him across the head and covered Silvara's back. Anakin got up with some help of Rex only to be met with five of their clones falling on them in a dogpile, with Anakin and Rex on bottom, due to a force push. I in the meantime took off a clones helmet with an uppercut and the other clone squad that was commanded by Commander Cody joined up with us, saw the pancake and charged. Cody was left standing there shouting orders only to be hit with a clone helmet by one of Snipes squad members... the very same helmet i had punched off a clone...

Cody finally gave up after throwing the helmet angrily back into the fight and sat down by Snipes. "Hows it going?" Cody asked the Lieutenant, who in return just sighed and shook his head. In the meantime it looks like Anakin and Rex finally got out under of the five unconsious clones and were about to either stop the fight or do anger mangament on a few unlucky clones until i jumped on too Anakins back shouting like a crazy person and made him fall into Rex knocking them both on the ground, Anakin might have a headache for a while after this i thought as soon as i got off of him and found him unconsious.

Rex on, the other hand, got up very quick and tackled me to the ground and was kicked off by Gunner, more like knee'd off. I got up and dashed into combat knocking over three clones with a few good punches. In the meantime Ahsoka's squad got here and were immiediatly pulled into the fight from them being too close to the pancake. Ahsoka bumped into Bryan, who thought she was another clone and swung at her. Ahsoka dodged it and pushed him a little too hard. Silvara saw her push him over and started attacking Ahsoka, young love. ain't it beautiful? Between Bryan and Silvara of course if your not as smart as everyone thinks...

Echo finally got into the fight when someonje almost broke his rig manual. Along the way several clones pounced at Roger who dodged them and left them on the ground. Finally Obi-wan's squad arrived and he tried to calm us all down by sending us a few yards away with a force push, and it so how happens that the pancake, which Kex was guarding, landed right in front of him. Which made all the clones that were pancake crazy, including me of course, rushed his squad and himself and fought like crazy.

Soon Obi-wan got out of the combat without landing a blow or getting one and took a sit by Cody and Snipes tryin gto figure out a solution. I would tell you more... but i don't want to be grounded by Snipes... if he ever found out... but i will tell you Anakin regained consonious again, got jumped on the back by me a couple times more, dog-piled once more, and tripped alot. My squad ended up sharing the pancake with everyone else unconsious in a dog-pile, with Anakin at the bottom of course. Poor Anakin... serves him right for being so reckless all the time...

P.S. DON'T TELL SNIPES

Send your reviews to me... ZAPPER


	4. On The Beach

**Part I**

Clone Lieutenant Snipes walked down the hall to give the men the most important news in their lifetime, totally top secret, totally priority 1. This news will make the men go more insane with excitement... i had a mind not to tell them... But anyways, the men need to hear it. Finally i was at my barracks. Hotshot and Shooter were watching the holo... ok... seems to have escaped my memory what its called... Roger was practicing aiming his guns at Hotshot and Shooter. Kex was going from here to there and back again trying to sell the usual stuff: Rig manuals, trading cards of something..., pieces of scrap metal, and also a few beads... (He trys to sell anything and everything) Bryan was over there mooching with his girlfriend... ok, ok. They were just talking. Echo was reading a new Rig manual about how to flirt with girls that Kex had sold to him. Waker and Fives were playing pazaak, with Waker winning at dire situations and with Fives convinced he was cheating. Killzone was cleaning his sniper rifle and Gunner was trying to make someone wrestle with him. Oh, and Zapper was following Gunner around making imitations of him whenever Gunner tried to impress the only girl in the barracks, Obi-wan's Padawan and Bryans girlfriend Silvara, with his muscles and leaving when Bryan looked over at him. Silvara just giggled when that happened.

"Men and... woman, may i have your attention please?" They ignored me and continued on with their busines. I don't like being ignored by my men... "ATTENTION!" I barked at them, all of them, including the commander, shot straight up into the air and saluted. In which Zapper saluted a little to fast and hard and ended up on the floor with a headache. "Now as you all don't know, i have some very important information to tell you, that will change our lives forever. Do you copy men?" All of them, except the commander, said. "Copy that sir, awaiting "Very important information"." I looked at Silvara until i figured out why she hadn't said anything. "Do you copy women?" "Yes sir, awaiting for the info, sir."

"Addese men, now i will inform you of this important piece of info. The clone army AND Obi ka no bi has allowed us to go on leave..." The men weren't too excited so he continued. "On a beach... that has alot of pretty girls wearing bikinis." Before you could say A the men already were packing and talking and were jumping about. "Yahoo! We get to flirt with the ladies!" Hollered Zapper as he packed a few shock candies in a pack. "I'll show them my muscles and they're come running to me." Gunner said while trying to impress Silvara then going back to packing a rubber duckie in his pack for some reason that probaly involved sharks.

"You know what i gonna do to impress tha ladies?" Hotshot proclaimed puffing out his chest and answering his own question before anybody else could. "I gonna bring me a knife and ride some sharkies." He then went about finding a red painted (some believed it to be blood instead of paint) knife into his pack. I turned my gaze to Silvara who was watching Bryan pack quietly. "Oh, and Mrs. Silver. Ka no bi said you could come along." She ignored the Mrs. and the wrong saying of Obi's name and started packing.

Fives was scrambling to get his pazaak deck, his backup pazaak deck, and his backup backup pazaak deck into his pack then getting a few credits. Echo was putting a couple of rig manuals in the pack along with some rations. Waker was getting several alarm clocks that would sound like chickens into his pack along with other loud thingies that made loud noises. Kex was packing up a few ornaments to sell to beach-folk, and he just happened to put a schematic for a sand bomb in there. "Me gonna make sand bombs and sell them, for reasonable prices of course!" Kex hollered as he packed some instruments in his pack, we just can't go anywhere (And i mean ANYWHERE) without him trying to sell something, he even tried to sell a battledroid a bottle of fine oil.

Killzone sat quietly on the bed, odviously done packing, and just watching everybody else. Shooter was packing some corellian ale containers in his pack along with a manual on how to kill droids and anti-sun radiation visors. Hunter wasn't doing anything except staring at Silvara. And Roger was sitting impatiently on his bed twirling a blaster in his hands.

An me, myself, went about packing to...

**Part II,_ on the beach some hours later..._**

We finally were on the beach and milling about. Everything ws going good, all the clones mooching with their girlfriends... ok ok ok, not mooching just talking... for now... I even ha- ill save that for latter, i'll tell you what i saw or heard.

_Bryan..._

Bryan was sitting beside Silvara, who just happened to be in a quite pretty bikini, and was talking to her. "Nice day, isn't it Silvara?" "Yep, just makes one want to lay back and relax." Silvara told Bryan, while laying down on the towel she was on. "Want me to put some lotion on your back?" Silvara rolled onto her stomach and smiled at Bryan. "Thought you'd never ask."

Then you can see where that went, Bryan start lotioning her back, Silvara quickly rolling over and fling him on the sand right beside her, and wrap him up in a tight embrace. Then they started mooching of course... ok ok ok, they didn't kiss...

_Fives..._

Fives sat up on the beach playing pazaak with a girl, intense pazaak right there... as if by a miracle Fives was winning, i really mean WINNING! What is this world coming to! Oh well... theres always all those other words... Like Tatooine, Dantooine, Corellia, Kamino, Kashyyk, Endor, Mustafar, Naboo, Coruscant, Christophis, Naboo, Ryloth, Mygeeto, Yavin IV, Felucia, an all those other goood and bad words...

Fives, amazingly, won. Took the girl, who looked in a state of defeat, by the arm and walked along the shore with her.

_Echo..._

Echo sat on his own towel and read his rig manual on how to flirt with the ladies when a very cute brunette, slender figure, fair skinned, long haired, back to the point... Came up over to him and sat down beside him. Echo noticed her presence and looked nervous and skiped ahead on the flirting lines. The girl Schoochoed up closer to him and peered over his shoulder, whispering. "Hellllloooo..." Into his ear, Echo, in his state, read the first line he saw. "Your shoes... look nice." He stammered, the girl giggled and put her hands on his shjoulders and massaged them. Oh yeah, btw, the girl waqs in her barefeet... brb, gonna take a closer look...

_Gunner and hotshot..._

Gunner sat in the boat with Hotshot and two cute girls... one of which seemed only slightly impressed by Gunner's muscles, and the other who was a bit... easy tempered... and other stuff, reminding a person of Hotshot.

Gunner flinged out a T-bone steak (uncooked and bloody) into the sea and set out a rubbie duckie with the small explosive inside it into the midst of the bloodied water. Meanwhile Hotshot tried to put his arm around the tempered girl who shoved him away sending him in the water and in his desperation to not fall he ripped off a very important piece of clothing on the girls upper half. Hotshot stared at her, she in return blushed and got angry, walked over to him and snapped the (luckily) untorned cloth from him and slapped him red on the cheek (ouch).

Meanwhile, a sharkie came by and ate the rubbie duckie and it went down under. "Looks like your plan didn't work." Said the unimpressable girl, just then the boat shook as a explosion sent shark guts flying ointo the air, one in which landed on the girls chest... and not in a very good place... and Gunner kindly wiped it off. The girl blushed and turned away from him, suprisingly enough she wasn't angry. Hotshot got his knife, threw out a steak right next to the boat, waited for a sharkie to come by, when it did come by it ate the meat and got jumped on by hotshot who was yelling a Mandalorian War Cry.

The shark went berserk and actwed like a bull, Hotshot held on, even when another shark who came by to help his friend, that sharkie got pure steel slashed into him. He wam away and the sharkies was tamed. The other girl was vry impressed with Hotshot and there was some kissing on the boat... meanwhile Gunner threw out a steak very close to Zapper.

_Zapper..._

Zapper saw the steak and swam wildly towards it, almost had it when a shark got it in his mouth but before he could do anytrhing else, Zapper bit into the shark, raked his fingernails across it, jabbed out oneof its eyes, and tore of a bit of the top fin with his teeth, the shark dropped the steak and swam away, Zapper got his steak and ate it... without using his fingers... something happened to that clone's cloning vat...

_Waker..._

Waker went around giving all of us water proof watches... all of us wore them and... well... tune in to fin out later at the end of my report.

_Kex..._

Kex went around selling varous shells and other sellable things, including a sand bomb to a male teen who threw it at Zapper, ho was laying down on the sand like a dog, and Zapper got sand in a VERY uncomfatorble space. The teen's girlfriend slapped the male and (apparently) dumped him, and headed over to Zapper. No one brought the shells he was selling to girls (his prce was kisses/hugs etc...) except one girl who payed the price for all of them a few, severl, alot of times beyond.

_Killzone..._

Killzone was strolling around the beach, not doing anything i particular, until a certain girl spotted him and "Accidentily" bumped into him, spilling her towel, bottle of sunscreen, and what people call 'sunglasses' and not what we call them. Killzone told her he was sorry (she told him the same thing) and helped her. 10 minutes later it happened again, same thing. Then 15 minutes later, again. Except they ended up walking arou nd the beach with Killzone holding her arm.

_Shooter and Roger..._

They sat over at a table drinking corellian ale and chatting with 2 pretty girls, Shooter making advances on 1 girl all the time, and Roger just talking pleasantly to the other girl... the talk lasted for a while until they ended up going for a swim.

_Hunter..._

Hunter had disappeared for a while and was found sitting on the beach, with an arm around a girl, watching the sunset. There was some lipstick on his lips... and some missing from the girl's...

_Waker..._

About an hour later our watches went off extremly loud making chicken cockadoodles, i expected this as did Silvara, Echo, The Snipers, and Bryan. We manged to break the watches with one fist attack but the others were soon drove crazy... except Zapper, he was alrweady crazy... seriously i am pretty sure somebody spike-

hold on... is that an Angel over there walking along the beachshore! no... black long hair, brown beutiful eyes, tanned skin...

_In lobby of hotel..._

"Heard that snipes got some kissy kissy from a girl." Hotshot said to the others, with his arm around a girl who was asleep on hs shoulder. "Yea... he sure did." Gunner said with his own girlfriend sitting next to him.


End file.
